I thought i would type this out finally because im getting fucking tired of this shit. Im sad and angry all the time and i have no reason to. I live a really normal life, rather priviledged to be honest, as i live an easy life in one the richest countries in the world. Im a fucking pussy, all i do every day is cry and hate myself for never being able to do anything right. Every thing i do or try to help with i just fuck up because im a fucking autist. Tried to kill myself twice cant even do that shit correctly. I abuse alcohol and other drugs daily and i feel like shit both phsyically and emotionally all the time. Im failing in school, my family hates me, all my efriends have blocked me and left, and all my irl friends have either killed themselves or beat the shit out of me then we never speak again. I sell my arse for cash as a "job" living in public housing. I break about 3 laws every day, just having stuff i own. I dont talk to people irl i only talk to epeople that hates themselves as much as me, and are desperate for someone to talk to to talk to me, which is pretty depressing. Last night (23.02.17) i drank a lot of alcohol after taking my meds (Prozac and Elvanse) and taking a lot of Xanax. I didnt die but i wish it did kill me, as all ive done today is lay in bed, buy kebab and vomit and occasionally take a shit. Im a disgusting person and i hate myself for who i am but i cant change. I wish someone would just fucking shoot me in the back of the head and throw my body in a ditch somewhere. Noone would miss me or file a missing person report because i have noone that actually cares about me irl. While typing this out im tears over text on a fucking screen. Im a pathetic excuse of a person. I want to jump off a building into the concrete 10 floors bvelow and fucking die on impact. Im a waste of oxygen and space. My parents have personally told me i was a mistake and they both wish i was never born. FINISHED WRITING AT 10:35PM 24.02.2017 @FuckingGayDude